Friday, October 29, 2010

Before the Day Gets Away

Trying to capture the vapor of time is like trying to manage a helium balloon without a string. It longs to escape my grip and float away with wings. I have charted my course, made my plans, and hope a few items will be crossed off  my list when at night my pillowed head surrenders to sleep.

Beds are stripped. One set being washed. One set warming in the dryer.
My wish, beds will be tucked back in place by bedtime.

Apple pie is on my mind. Make the crust. Chill in fridge. Buy apples. Peel, cut, slice, sweeten. Bake.

Finish writing project. Write. Edit. Prepare letter. Fold. Stamp. Send.

Warm up leftover Butternut/Acorn Squash soup. Serve with warm garlic toast. mmmmm

Fold, sort, toss, put away, straighten clothes in closet and drawers. Today. Must do.

Take a walk with the man of the house. Brevity of fall is on my mind. Must enjoy.

Dinner. Chili perhaps?

Evening open for surprise. Expecting blessings on the horizon.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

On Down the Line




I am waiting for grandchildren! It might be awhile. So aware of that but it doesn't stop me from looking forward, anticipating that blessing with much joy and expectation.

My friend's families are expanding circles around circles. I am not envious. Just can't be! I am so delighted for them. It is so much fun to watch my friends get so silly with love for their little ones. It literally tickles my insides to listen to them chatter on about coos and grins and cuddles.

I love how they pray for their precious little bundles. Their petitions are focused far beyond now, way into the future of the child, beyond my friend's own lifetime. I LOVE that!

It reminds me of a verse that I have prayed for our family so many times.

"As for Me,"  says the Lord, "this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants' descendants," says the Lord, "from this time and forevermore."  Isaiah 59:21 NKJV


Praying this verse today and believing for a whole houseful of grandbabies and a message passed on down the line!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

When We Walk Together

A friend and I have been walking together in the wee early morning hours. We pull on all our wraps, head for the walking trail, and share with one another rich conversation. We never run out of things to say.

I have walked this trail alone many times in the past. It is a long and seemingly arduous journey when traveled all by myself. I have to talk to faithfully talk myself into taking the next step of the journey. Over and over I say to myself, "Its not so far!" but inside I am thinking, "When will I get to the end?"

However, when walking with my friend we are turning around and heading back to our starting place before I even realize how far we have gone. We are enjoying sweet fellowship so much that we want to slow down at the end of our trail to stretch out our time together.

When there one of us has an ache or pain it can be a little more difficult. The first day we walked, I got two huge blisters on the back of my heals. I came home with some bloody looking shoes. Truth is, I was enjoying our conversation so much it didn't seem to matter that my heals were getting raw.

Our rich fellowship has spurred some thought. Was it easier for Paul to sing in prison with Silas beside him?

Perhaps they sang in harmony.

They might have made a pretty sound.

Maybe not.

But it made the earth tremble.

Sunday, Pastor shared a story of the prize fighter George Foreman. George was asked what was the most memorable moment of his life. Everyone expected his response to be the moment he was named heavyweight champion fighter of the world. George told a different story instead.

He had attended a special olympics event. A race was being run, with a little guy, "Billy" in the lead. Billy was dragging a lame leg but running the best he could in spite of his handicap. He got to the finish line, stopped right at the tape and looked back. His best friend was in second place. Billy went back to his best friend, took his little hand, and they crossed the finish line together. Victory with double joy.

Memorable for George and me.

We can accomplish so much more when we walk together.

Friday, October 22, 2010

New York City Cab Driver






I woke early. The city noises had crept through the panes of the third story windows all through the night. I had wrestled with sleep through the midnight hours. Before daybreak, I woke for good and decided to dedicate the remaining time to prayer. I prayed for he and she, this and that, them and those. It was a good time of prayer. I felt assurred that I had been heard.

Nothing seemed trivial. I asked about it all. I even prayed about the taxi cab driver who would be delivering me to the airport. I don't really remember specifically what I asked for but I do remember spending some time on it.

When it was time to go, my son-in-law, Drake, helped me to the curb with my luggage. A cab was waiting for a green light at the corner but I am pretty sure that the Lord had him waiting for me. Drake called him over to the curb.

The driver's face was dressed with a sober scowl. It made me shiver.

"Is this the driver you had in mind, Lord?" I whispered with wonder so only He could hear.

We loaded the trunk and I got in the back seat. I had barely shut the door when the light turned green and we began to fly through city traffic. He moved that car like a gazelle as he whisked in and out of busy lanes trying to get me there as fast as he could.

My imagination can easily get carried away. I began to wonder if he was a kidnapper and we were on our way to his hideout. Imaginations can be cruel!

My mind began to ease as signs for the airport began to appear. I got to the airport in record time. I was a very satisfied customer and  I told him so.

"You are amazing! You did such a great job getting me here! Thank you so much!"

His whole body reacted to my gratefulness.

"What," he said with both arms in the air turning to look at my face. "No one has said that to me in my entire life."

"I am sorry," I replied, "they should have. You did a really good job."

It was fairly early in the day when these words were spoken. I have reflected on them several times since then. I wondered if he did. Did they make a difference in the rest of his day? In the rest of his life? Had those few words been able to turn that sober scowl into a pleasant face with twinkle in eye? It would probably take a few more positive words in his life to get it to that place, but I would like to think it was a start. Perhaps he softened some.

It was a small thing. I wondered if I would have spoken those words if I had failed to pray about it that morning. Probably not.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

21

There are some things I really didn't know when I was twenty~one. I did not have a need to know some of them, some things were not invented yet, and some of them were beyond my life experience. I thought I might name a few of those things.

1. I did not know that there was such a thing as a mirror magnified to the 15th power.

2. I had never heard of spanx. Nor did I need them at the time.

3. Cell phones? I did not need a pocket in my purse for one like I do now so that I can find it when it buzzes or rings.

4. Blogging might be a word that my toddler might say while rolling his dump truck across the kitchen floor.

5. Travel the world? I thought making it to the store was an accomplished feat!!!

6. I did not know that God really, really loved me ... until the day I read Romans 8. It changed my life.

7. I did not think I could be successful. My husband was extremely successful. Thought my success in life would come from being in his shadow. I had a wrong definition of success.

8. I thought that people in their 50's were old ... or getting there!!! (Recalculating!!!!)

9. I really felt like beds should make themselves!!!! (Wouldn't that be cool?)

10. I really believed if you loved people well they would love you back. Now I know that they do ... sometimes.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Missing Anna

Scotty and I are in Chicago. We lived here a long time ago. I reach back into memories that I filed away so very many years ago.
We had a lot of friends here. They were hard to come by and it took a long time to win them over but once we did I thought we had made lasting lifetime bonds. I learned after awhile that people here do not plan to make lifetime bonds with transient people ... students and their families. Students come, they go, life goes on and circles of relation change their course.
I still miss some of them ... a lot.
One that made a lasting impression on me, the one that I would love to see, face to face at least one more time is sweet, sweet Anna.
I don't know if she is still living, if she is living, I have no idea where she might be. In an age where it is difficult to hide away and not be found, Anna has successfully slipped through my fingers. It seems that I will never again see my dear friend again.
I wonder if she thought we were as close as I did. There have been times when I thought my relationships were tighter than tight only to find out later that I was the one keeping the ropes tied between us. Just because I felt close to someone did not mean that we both felt the same. How sad it has made me when these truths has been revealed to me.

Anna and I could talk for hours. She was a mother of three, I only had one child. She was patient with my immaturity and insecurity as a mom. When I walked into her house I felt like I was home. She had a calm about her all the time regardless of the chaos that might erupt on her daily path. She was gentle and kind, peaceful and loving. She seemed so confident, so practical. I learned a ton from her. Hopefully some of her incredible virtue and wisdom was woven into the woman I was becoming.

My journey with Anna was short. Scotty and I moved away and Anna and I lost touch. But I remember so much about her. I will never forget her. She impacted me in so many ways that I cannot count them all.

I am in Chicago, but it doesn't feel like home. I am missing Anna.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Grateful

She called in tears, no, hysteria!
"Is dad there?"
I wanted to know, had to know, what was up? She (our daughter) never cries. Not unless it looks as if the moon will fall from the sky and the sun will no longer shine.
My heart nearly stopped but she would not say. She wanted her dad.
I watched his face as he took the call. It was covered in every kind of sadness. Her tears ... was that all it was that was making his face draw up and his eyes fill with tears?
I waited.
Was it really serious?
After four years of marriage, our daughter had never called to complain of one misunderstanding. They are an independent couple, working things out on their own. I was sure that it was trouble of another sort.
"Drake has been stabbed."
I screamed and my whole body began to tremble.
Drake is a darling. I think I have told you before. My eyes swell with tears as I describe to you my one and only son-in-law. I love this young man as my own son. He is wonderful. I adore him. The more that I know him, the more I appreciate him.
My husband and I began to run in circles trying to get ourselves ready and out of the door, through traffic and to a New York City hospital to see our dear ones, Drake hurt, Ashli by his side, both suffering in different ways.
We got our son Caleb (who also lives in New York) to drive us there. By the time we were on the road and in the heavy traffic, Drake was released from the hospital and they were both taken to a New York City police station where we would wait while he was being interviewed by detectives.
I will never forget the relief I felt when they walked through the doors of the waiting room where we sat waiting for their arrival. Ashli melted in my arms. I thought I might never let her go.
We had not been to New York City to visit them since Christmas. We had been there a whole 12 hours when Drake was assaulted and robbed and injured. He is a strong young man and fought back hard. The Lord protected him and spared his life. He will be alright. Soon. But it was hard.
We have been traveling for many days. We have been in many states and done many things but on the day when our children needed us, we were within reach. We could be there. The Lord knew.

It seemed as if we had planned our way, but the Lord had set our pace. We knew that He was the One who was in control. And we are glad.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9 NLT