It began with a sound like a man crying for help from a deep well. I looked at Scotty with a most puzzled look? "Who is in there?", I asked with my expression. His tummy was doing some warm up exercises that sounded like they were coming from an orchestra tune up. The sound was loud and I was pretty sure that everyone in our section had heard it. Did they think it was my tummy demanding their attention? If so, the look on my face revealed the truth! My expression pointed straight to him and pronounced him the guilty one.
A few minutes later it came. A roar that must have compared to the sound that the lions from Daniel's den made when the Lord let go of their mouths so that they could eat the bad guys. I am serious! It was so loud, my stomach sounded like it had a microphone next to it! And the sound just kept going on and on and on! I am pretty certain that everyone in our section and the one next to us heard it.
When it began I had this thought, "Oh no! Here we go! It is getting louder, building, building! Yep, it is completely out of control. I tried hard to appear like nothing was happening! I held my breath. I crossed my arms and held tight without trying to seem obvious, of course, but the sound rebelled against my efforts and only grew all the louder!
The *child sleeping on his mother's lap sitting two seats away from me was awakened by it. He pushed back from his mom, looked into her face, and with a loud whisper and look of surprise asked, "Mommy, what was THAT?" Well, our row began to shake, rattle, and roll with laughter, totally inspired by his reaction!
"That was Cheri's tummy, Nolan," his sweet momma replied.
To that the child turned his head with a classic expression, and stared right at me. You could see the wheels turning in that stare. I knew he was thinking, "How could your tummy make so much noise?"
By this time, the row I was sitting in was completely out of control. The trouble is, my eye scanned the rest of the congregation and we were the only ones laughing. The sermon was not funny. It was very sober. It was amazing! Good. Wonderful. But not funny this time. I began to pray that no one would ask what happened in our row.
Oh, you mother's of young ones, I know how it is when your children get the wiggles in church and just cannot seem to be quiet. I have had many young partners share my pew. Once they are grown and gone, just let me give you fair warning here, their noise will no longer be there to cover your rumbly tummy anymore. Please be thanking God that you have them with you now. Seriously, just them being with you can cover a multitude of things!
My lesson in church yesterday was on humility. It was a practicum, I got to learn while experiencing humiliation.
The momma sitting next to me offered me some crackers after the service. Oh, why did she wait? She prolonged her opportunity to feed the hungry!
My tummy is quiet today. It hasn't made a peep! Perhaps it is ashamed that it caused such a scene! Probably saving up it's voice for another quiet moment to express itself. It never seems to have the need to rumble unless there is a nice sized audience. It seems that it took it's final bow yesterday and knows the curtain is closed for now. I am anxious about it's next performance.
Well, friends, that is my story! I hope it made you smile!
*I am not positive that the child was sleeping. He was in the position and appeared to be. I told it as if he were for the sake of making the story better. And that is the truth! The rest of the story, I am afraid, is completely accurrate.