Thursday, July 17, 2008

How To/Want To

My husband and I have reached the most incredible place in our marriage! It is like we have found our first love all over again. What an adventure! We did not arrive at this plateau over night. We have been on this journey for nearly thirty years! I will spare you the grief of all the ups and downs along the way.

What I would like to share is that there was a time when the season we are in now seemed unattainable. Discouragement met me at almost every turn. We didn't have a horrible marriage, but it wasn't fun! It was tough! We weren't really very happy.

I remember at one point being in complete despair. Hopelessness overwhelmed my heart and I truly did not know if our marriage would survive.

I know what you are thinking. The problems were all his fault! Of course!!!!! NOT!!! I might have said that at the time, but not now.

Even though I was at fault, I can tell you for sure that his faults were a lot easier for me to discern than my own.

One day I began to change my focus when I prayed for our relationship. I began to pray for my husband. I didn't pray that the Lord would make him into someone else. Someone I liked! I began to pray that the Lord would show me ways that I could bless him. I would lay across our bed and cry out to God, "Lord, how can I bless this man today? Please show me ways that will touch his heart."

Whatever the Lord would show me, I would do. Well, almost every time.

Did I say that I didn't feel like praying that way? The words hurt my ears at first! Like fingers on a chalk board! However, my prayers became sincere after a very short time.

The Lord was so faithful! He began to show me various ways to bless my husband. My focus began to change. I wasn't thinking about myself so much. I was thinking about Scotty and how I could meet his needs. One of my biggest desires was to become his favorite blessing.

I have changed! Scotty has changed! Our marriage has changed! We have become the very best of friends. We are having the time of our lives! I don't ever want this season to end. Scotty is constantly blessing me! I couldn't begin to list all of the ways he finds to bless me!

Long ago, I had a very difficult time imagining my marriage being a great marriage. Now I can't imagine it getting any better! But it will. It will!

If you are married, I hope that it is a time of bliss for you! There is nothing like a great marriage!

If this is a time of frustration in your relationship, I hope that you will hang on with prayer. It is worth it to fight in prayer for the one you love and a marriage you can enjoy. I know that you will find blessings on the other side of your prayer time!!!!

Because He Lives!!!!

Love you,
Cheri

4 comments:

Paula (SweetPea) said...

You are very blessed. I wish I had the revelations you did. I'll spare the details but my Christian husband exited our marriage via an unbiblical divorce last year. It's been a year since he's been gone and it was final Nov. He has been gravely deceived by the enemy who convinced him God said our covenant was broken. There was no infidelity. Dischord, disrespect, sinful tongue.

I am praying for God to resurrect a dead marriage as He did a dead man. If you so desire, I'd covet your prayers. It's a hard journey for me but I'm changing, learning, and growing closer to God through this. I'm afraid for my beloved though because he thinks he's "tight" with God yet he's errored so wrong from God's path. He is in church, in God's word, praying, fellowshipping with Christ but he's convinced himself God told him to do this and I'm a bad, bad person.

Sorry to be a drab. You are doing fine with the blog. Just continue to allow Him to speak through you.
Love in Christ,
Paula

Cheri Bunch said...

Dear Paula,
I am so sorry!
I believe that the Lord does resurrect marriages. Nothing is too difficult for Him!!! I believe the Lord loves what seems to be impossible.
The Lord has a name that I love. It is Restorer! He is also the Redeemer! He is able to restore and redeem our souls. The most wicked and least appealing part of us can be redeemed and restored! I believe that he is not only able but willing!
I will definitely pray for you. The enemy is fierce! He so opposes the marriage covenant because it reminds him of our eternal covenant with Christ. May the Lord be your comforter in every way! And may the Lord begin to turn your husband's heart toward home. "Make haste, O Lord! Make haste!"
You are not a drab. I appreciate you sharing!
Thank you for your encouragement! I am so thankful for you!

Blessings,
Cheri

Joyful said...

Cheri, I just found this post tonight. What a beautiful infusion of hope. I know the despair and overwhelming hopelessness. I am in that season now, after 20 years, of not being able to imagine my marriage being a great marriage. It is routine. We have become single marrieds if that makes sense. We are hanging on and hanging on to Him. Your writing here has been such a blessing. THANK YOU for sharing this. I will be asking God to show me ways to bless my husband.

You are loved,
Joy

Cheri Bunch said...

Dear Sweet Joy,
The internet has been down. I wanted to respond so much sooner.
The situation you are in can be so difficult. I am so sorry! I have seen miracles in this area. I have seen it in some of my friends lives as well.
The Lord loves it when we enjoy our relationship with Him. I think He appreciates when we enjoy our relationship with the one He has drawn us into oneness with!
I will pray for you! I have great hope in our amazing God for you and yours.

Many blessings,
Cheri